Thank you for this. During my second pregnancy, I was amazed my firstborn even survived given how much the recommendations had changed and the overwhelming amount of “advice” I was inundated with that I had no idea about before this, even in working in perinatal mental health.
It reminded me of a concept that a lovely woman shared with me when I was pregnant with my first and doing my masters during the Covid lockdowns - the “good enough” parent from the work of Donald Winnicott. It certainly helped me through those early weeks when I was feeling guilty for writing papers rather than doing mommy and me classes and still feels so relevant in this second postpartum experience.
I'm glad this resonated with you, and gosh I totally hear you on the how the heck did my firstborn ever survive given the new wave of information! I will check out Winnicott's work, I'm not familiar but it sounds really helpful. And congrats on getting to that point where you could maintain your masters writing while parenting a newborn, that isn't a small feat!
This came right on time for me as, since I’ve begun telling people I’m pregnant, my Instagram feeds have filled with prenatal workout gurus and my health appointments with professionals who already have feelings (pity, pretend nonchalance, rushing to assure me I can still have access to other mothers’ extra breastmilk so I won’t “have to” rely on formula) about my not being able to breastfeed this post-breast-cancer baby. Whew!
Oh Cameron, congratulations! But also - phew indeeeed! Holding space for you, it's so exhaustive but know I'm here for you if you ever need. Also that is wild that professionals aren't able to accept/hear what you and your body actually need to support a baby after breast cancer!
Thank you for this. During my second pregnancy, I was amazed my firstborn even survived given how much the recommendations had changed and the overwhelming amount of “advice” I was inundated with that I had no idea about before this, even in working in perinatal mental health.
It reminded me of a concept that a lovely woman shared with me when I was pregnant with my first and doing my masters during the Covid lockdowns - the “good enough” parent from the work of Donald Winnicott. It certainly helped me through those early weeks when I was feeling guilty for writing papers rather than doing mommy and me classes and still feels so relevant in this second postpartum experience.
I'm glad this resonated with you, and gosh I totally hear you on the how the heck did my firstborn ever survive given the new wave of information! I will check out Winnicott's work, I'm not familiar but it sounds really helpful. And congrats on getting to that point where you could maintain your masters writing while parenting a newborn, that isn't a small feat!
This came right on time for me as, since I’ve begun telling people I’m pregnant, my Instagram feeds have filled with prenatal workout gurus and my health appointments with professionals who already have feelings (pity, pretend nonchalance, rushing to assure me I can still have access to other mothers’ extra breastmilk so I won’t “have to” rely on formula) about my not being able to breastfeed this post-breast-cancer baby. Whew!
Oh Cameron, congratulations! But also - phew indeeeed! Holding space for you, it's so exhaustive but know I'm here for you if you ever need. Also that is wild that professionals aren't able to accept/hear what you and your body actually need to support a baby after breast cancer!